I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh god it's open bar.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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