I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Randomize