and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
