Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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