The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
