I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
