Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
