I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
