I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
