yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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