i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
