how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
