I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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