So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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