my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
