.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
