I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
