I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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