time to smoke my breakfast
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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