i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
