Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Floor bacon is actually really good
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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