The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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