dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
