3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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