I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize