I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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