My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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