did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
