You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
