told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
