I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
