i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.