sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me