turn off your phone and go to bed
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there was a trapeze. enough said
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.