I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
