i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
