i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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