In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
