she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
