Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
