Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
