The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize