I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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