Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize