why didn't you poke me back
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
