omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This is my gift to your gina
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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