i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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