so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
