dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You made out with two different species that night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
