It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
