Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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