Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
