I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
