ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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