I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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