well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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