i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
