is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize