Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize