wrigley field is MILF paradise
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
