No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
