Im at strip club and am horny
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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