Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize