Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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